1. So you're telling ME...all stop signs are NOT optional?...When did this change? I've been driving for 30 years!
2. How long is this going to take?...Your Mom's expecting me.
3. I know I was weaving but only to spare the innocent lives of all those unicorns in the road.
4. Listen officer...I've got 3 different licsenses from 3 different states. Choose ONE and choose wisely.
5. Psh...of course I don't know how fast I was driving... my needle stops at the 110 mph mark...helloooo
6. I am surprised you even stopped me, Dunkin Donuts is having a massive sale...best get on your marry way. (whisper "go" in a soft loving manner)
7. No, YOU assume the position...I pay your salary!
8. Hey...can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?..last time I had so much fun...(creepy smile/wink/hair twirling must follow)
9. You see officer...when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and simply lodged between the brake and gas pedal, which forced me to speed out of control...simply an honest mistake!
10. What do you mean "Have I been drinking?"...I thought YOU'RE the trained specialist?!...My my have the tables turned!
11. Do YOU know why you pulled ME over? ...no really...I have no clue.
12. You're not going to check the trunk are you?
13. Well... you must have been going at least 125 to keep up with me...this was merely a test...therefore, I would like to put YOU under arrest...BOO YAH!
14. This must be a mistake...I hired the cop stripper for NEXT weekend.
15. Well...I can't reach for my license and registration unless you hold my beer.
